you are in these bones, but they are not you.
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almost.
There is what I have, and there is what I need, and they are shoulder to shoulder. They are holding hands, and you would call this admirable. You would call this success. I cannot argue against it, there is a golden weight to this. This is beautiful, it is rare and raw and true. There Read more
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Once upon a time, I was.
I remember, though. I was meant to be a gentle kind of cold. Mercilessly empty of everything but detached benevolence. I was there, I was bloodless. I remember. I was burning razor wire in a brilliant vacuum, too beautiful to hurt. I’d never hurt you. I’d never stop you hurting yourself. Even in my fledgling Read more
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you are the holes in my memory, the endlessness plaguing me.
And i think of you, you know you will always have known you knew it before i did understood it better than i could. Read more
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hideous.
Now the depths, dredged, have again settled themselves, here she is: terorista, amant de la mort, serpent god winding massive in the stygian clarity of deepest Quiddity. She, the willing knife, the eager bolverkr. She, the sickly ichor sticky in my veins, kept liquid, sleepy in the heat, deadbright eyes indifferent to existence. Reptile. The Read more
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The never-ending.
I’m trying to sit with this idea that I should have suffered more. That I got off too easily, whatever that means. I get that it demonstrates my general contentedness, but why does it exist at all. That isn’t how it works, that’s not fucking right. Not the least of it being that I can Read more
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i smell you
It’s worse because it’s out there. The whole world. Because you know it’s out there, and even when the rest of you is dead, the knowledge of it cuts through your brain. Thirty six knuckles deep in every fire fathomable and still the thrill of it runs screaming along your nerves, daring you to wake Read more
let me sow that i may reap 