you’re running laps through the labyrinth, grinding the mirrors beneath your feet to bloody powder

i think that’s part of the problem i have. i don’t want to. lol i don’t want to, ever. will it make more sense if i do? yes, of course. more power, more potency per syllable if slip it to you like a drug instead of yanking you along the broken corridor raw. i’m only a success when you’re barely clinging to understanding. because i don’t want to. to make you comfortable. you aren’t the point. that’s not the point. and i’ll never get to it because i don’t want to.

i pinch my lip and watch,
heavy-lidded liquid clarity.
the reality of a fallow palate,
ever dissatisfied and smiling.
baby there will never be enough.

you’ve been absent from yourself for a while, the breakthrough threatening. do you know what you need? i’m here: beseeching, sincere. do you know what you need? i’m here and present and earnest. what do you need?
i hate committing to the words, the exposure, but i need you here. i don’t want to scare you with what i’m willing to do, it’s not like that. it’s clean this time. maybe a little like that. i’ll always be me, so it’ll always be a little scary.
no. you’re safe here. you’re safe here, i swear. i’d cut my hands off if my fingers began to curl i shouldn’t say it that way. i should tell you that you’ll never be trapped. i won’t promise not to hurt you, that’d be disingenuous, but you will know in your bones where i am. unshakeable, just ask your bones.
i need you here. i need a new superposition. i lay awake with my eyes closed and burn.

but why shouldn’t i get what i want? i won’t fight, but why not.