The people I am share bones, share a soul, share every inch of intention and expression, and manifest so differently depending on location. At work, I am a caregiver. I am patient, professional, witty, diplomatic, attentive, present. At home I am impatient, loud, unready. I want to cut rope and drift when I don’t have to be tethered. My children deserve my patience, they deserve my presence of mind. Everyone does, but realistically if I manage to braid these women more tightly together, more of my relationships will benefit from the blend. The middle ground I’ve been sifting to find, there’s a way to have and be everything I want. I don’t lose myself by cultivating patience. I can better feed and fund my spontaneity by building that scaffolding. The animal doesn’t feel quite so panicky at the prospect. It’s time to learn new tricks.

I don’t need to walk on water, but I’m no drowning novitiate. There’s more to this discussion/exploration than I’m capable of encapsulating at this moment, too much noise in my world, but I’m coming. I swear to god I’m still moving.