You were never a mistake, despite how many ways we fucked up. I have loved you the whole time, I’ll love you for the rest of time. Forever and ever, amen. I’m not sure how often I’ll write to you, more in the moments I forget the mean or crazy shit, and my heart’s all nostalgia gooey. You were not some small moment in my life, an influence not easily dismissed or denied, and I’m not going to pretend to be done braiding these loose ends into the tapestry yet. You made too much sense to me, every lesson painful as it was beautiful, valuable. I continue to evolve into someone I respect in large part because of you.

There is no apology adequate for my failings, but I’m not going to let this be for nothing. Every ending I’ve faced has left me richer than when I started and I fuckin hope one day you feel that way too.

Shouting gratitude over the grief/anger isn’t really my strong suit but that’s what I’m going to do. I am and will always be thankful for you.