you are in these bones, but they are not you.

  • je ne me souviens pas

    je ne me souviens pas

    Sometimes memory rears up to tear holes in my composure. Crouched on the floor of the back room, in the furthest corner of the restaurant you work in, sobbing in the middle of a shift, incapable of moving for several long minutes Slamming the back of your head into the headboard, the wall, whatever, just to make Read more

  • glenuggah

    glenuggah

    This dripping dark, an aching caul, the smooth molasses that has slowly hardened around my heart. “The blood of the gods,” they crowed, mining all that they could before the giants returned, “The blood of angels and the demons they become.” The taker’s hands. Read more

  • crawling

    crawling

    I bite my lip (bottom, left) until it bleeds. My jaw clenches and it won’t stop, muscle contraction out of control. I feel the fingers wrap around my head and begin to squeeze. Moments like this feel like forever, like I have lived always on my knees. (Can’t stand with my legs kicked out from Read more

  • agony//anguish

    agony//anguish

    The difference between agony and anguish is grief. The pain has mellowed, a low ache folded into the rest I carry. I wake up stiff, my heart occasionally needing a second to remember how to move the same way my wrists and ankles do. Just a second, a beat or two, and my heat takes Read more

  • Always with the long goodbyes.

    Always with the long goodbyes.

    You were never a mistake, despite how many ways we fucked up. I have loved you the whole time, I’ll love you for the rest of time. Forever and ever, amen. I’m not sure how often I’ll write to you, more in the moments I forget the mean or crazy shit, and my heart’s all Read more

  • All I wanted was to not want to die.

    It’s cost me so fucking much just to stay alive. Read more

let me sow that i may reap