you are in these bones, but they are not you.

  • indulgence

    indulgence

    absently dragging my fingers across textures, an unconscious need for sensory input, unconscious need to feel. have your nerves lit up like that? a rippling shudder of light, of synapses sparking in gentle waves through your body, suddenly aware of the pressure of the air, light as a lover’s touch, the feeling of breath moving Read more

  • Untitled post 738

    I feel it in my blood, pulling my eyes like tides to find you and I have to keep reminding my heart that the sun didn’t rise and it’s time to stop living like the moon. Read more

  • thinken

    thinken

    The cycles are (obviously) vicious again. Monthly, now, following the moon, and even knowing what it is hasn’t seemed to stop the shock or lessen the impact. Being sucked down into the ideation abyss, even briefly, is an experience I’m not really willing to accept. Understanding goes a long way, but goddamn I’m not prepared Read more

  • Ugly things

    Ugly things

    My knuckles are still stretched tight but I focus on keeping my shoulders loose. I shut the door reflexively, I don’t even look up. Watching the horizon. Watching the sunlight. Watching my children. Anything. And this cycle will end too. I want to fight it, still, that animal part of my brain imprinted on this, Read more

  • Washed

    Washed

    If there’s a tide, it is eating me, pulling me apart like soft lace. Cotton candy in water. If there is a tide, I am twisting in it. I am slow, sinuous, arms and legs long, drowning calmly. The weight of ten thousand leagues pressing the panic from my lungs. There is a tide and Read more

  • Sitting in dark rooms.

    Sitting in dark rooms.

    Been a long time since I’ve been a bird. Long time since I’ve choked on my own hollow bones, marveling again at such an incredible fragility supporting this unbearable gravity. Moments of splintering, this time there is no panic rising. Fingers and throat bleeding from this holding, and I witness it calmly. Self-blind is self-absorbed, Read more

let me sow that i may reap